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Welcome to BRUCE'S USED PLANES!!
Ever dreamed of owning your very own plane? So have we! Can't afford it? NEITHER CAN WE!! Don't let petty things like not being a millionaire stop YOU from owning YOU'RE VERY OWN FLYING CONTRAPTION!!!! Here at Bruce's Used Planes, we supply the average bastard with wings. Why do we provide this ridiculously cheap service you may ask? Because we like to see people fly, folks. Nothing more, nothing less. Check out our current models below and have your credit card details ready when you've made you're selction:
BOEING 727
Beaut little runabout from Boeing. Ernie bored this fucker out to 747 so it'll zip away from the lights faster than a wog in a Monaro. Get in quick, this'll fly out the door!
$22,000
BOEING 747
The "King of the Skies" according to Websters Online Aerogeek Thesaurus. This bastard can fly round the world, I'd reckon. Fits a few hundred people for those party minded Jetsetters. Watch out for Mount Airbus if your flying over Antartica! Delivery ex Nigeria.
$31,000
LEERJET
Cute little roadster for the budget minded customer. Nice and economical, we tweaked the engines to run on loquat moonshine. New mag wheels, full stereo and CD. Slight metal fatigue on left wing. Suit loving home.
$10,000 OBO
Please note that actual likeness may differ slightly from photoes. We source our used models only from the most reputable of African dealers. Each plane comes with our certified "Bruce's 3 month UNLIMITED Warranty" Send credit card details to: brucefromsydney@yahoo.com and Let's FLY!
HARRIER
How did we get this one you may ask? Well I'll tell you straight: we nicked it. This thing flies the same way a fly does, up, down, vertical, horizontal, around and back. This, my friends, is the Karma Sutra of war planes. Use this to blow your Spic enemies out of the sky. That's what the Poms do! Some paintwork do be done. RWC. Prop up barrels not included.
$4,500
AIRBUS
This is the new Airbus. Cousin Ernie "canibolised" a few models to come up with this cunning chimera. This thing will ferry your kids to school just as easy as it will park in your neighbourhood shopping mall. Sick of traffic?? Just stick the knob into "Fly" mode and whir your way free! Good for camping too. Great family wagon.
$17,000
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